Age

I'm not even middle-aged yet but I seem to be having my own mid-life crisis.

I can't say I hate my job, but it's certainly not ideal. The hours are horrible and the pay even worse. But, I have a job, which is more than a lot of people can say right now. And so I deal.

I came to the realization that I'm not in-love with my husband anymore. We've become more of just friends, but I'm not sure when or how it happened. I really have no urge nor want to be intimate with him. I've realized that his own anti-socialness has left me feeling stifled and lifeless. But leaving him would cause more complications than staying. I know he does love me, and goes out of his way for me. Not to mention it would destroy the kids. And so I deal.

There's more to all this... but I'm out of time. Perhaps another post is in order at a later date.

Taken For Granted

A guy I work with recently commented that every time he gets comfortable in a relationship, shortly thereafter it all goes to hell.   I suggested that perhaps in getting comfortable, he was giving his girl the feeling that she was being taken for granted.

Women hate being taken for granted.

I know as a married woman I often feel taken for granted.  It often pisses me off.

Women have a tendency to put forth an extra effort for as long as they feel appreciated.  Men put forth extra effort only as long as they feel they absolutely have to.   Unfortunately for men, showing appreciation is usually categorized as extra effort.   Once a relationship is established and the woman is considered "his", then he usually feels like no further effort is needed, and proceeds to slack off.  Tsk.

Once they woman stops feeling appreciated, she will stop putting forth the extra effort.  By this time, the men have come to just assume that extra effort will always be there and get upset when it's not.  But they rarely understand why it stopped in the first place.  From there it usually just spirals downward until they go their separate ways.

Hell hath no fury like that of a woman scorned.

My marriage is more sacred than yours

With the election hoopla I have been hearing a lot about a proposal in California to ban gay marriages.  

Didn't they already go over this?

I must admit, I've never understood the whole anti-gay marriage side of things.  Oh I've heard the arguments.  About how it's an act against the christian god or something.    I hate to break it to these folks, but marriage has been around a lot longer than their religion.   And I don't think any of those people would like it very much if they were told their commitment to each other was less sacred than some overblown broo-ha-ha like they have now days.

Oh, but what will you tell the kids?  I know exactly what I'm going to tell my kids, if they ask.  Love is love and I don't think anyone on this earth has the right to dictate who can love who.   If my son decides he wants a boyfriend instead of a girlfriend?  Well, that's his choice.  And if he wants to get married?  I better be invited to the wedding.

I once saw a sign that said "God hates fags."   I'm really not sure what god has against british cigarettes, but who am I to say?   Ohhh, you mean you think he/she hates homosexuals?  Did your deity tell you this in person?   No?   Then how do you know?  Oh yes, that bible thing.  You mean that book that was re-written under the order of  King James who was a well known homophobe, and had no problem in having the translations altered to fit his own views?  Yes, I can see how you and that boob would agree.

Really folks, don't we have bigger fish to fry than this?

ho hum

There are times when it seems no matter how hard you try, you just keep sliding further and further behind in the game of life.

Age

When does getting older stop being fun?

When you're a kid, you can't wait until your next birthday.  When people ask your age, you proudly announce your age and even make sure to include "and a half" when it applies.  That extra six months is a big deal, after all.

When you're a teenager you stop including the half, but you still look forward to that next one.  You're still proud when you say "Fourteen, but almost fifteen."

It seems to stay until you hit about twenty one.  And then, after that... what?  You never hear someone proudly saying "I'm almost thirty."  In fact, many say they're twenty nine a few years after twenty nine has passed.   Perhaps it's the lack of milestones to look forward to.   Up until you're twenty one, there is something you want to try, but can't because "you're not old enough."

I think for me, I didn't really care about getting older until I started looking older.  Well after I was no longer having milestones to look forward to, I was still being carded for them.

Until the white hairs started coming in.

Somewhere along the line it went from "Can I see your ID?" to "Here you are Ma'am." 

Ma'am?!   When did I become one of those?!   

Oh now I remember.  When the world could see the multitude of white that was working it's way through my hair and I didn't have the time or money for the dye to cover them.

Damn it.

illusions

We always have to be careful when trying to decide if what we see is what's really there.

Most especially with people.

They will tell you one thing, but then do another.  They make promises they cannot keep.  And you are left standing there, wondering what happened.

But what do you do when you realize it's all been an illusion too late?  

Of course you wonder if any of it was real.  You question every moment.  Every detail, every nuance, goes under close scrutiny.  You scramble and grasp at anything that seems like it could've been the truth.

Eventually you settle with the idea that perhaps they meant them at the time.

Better than me?

I hate the one-up syndrome.

You know what I mean.  When you mention something you've done that you're proud of and someone else has to constantly tell you about how they did something similar that was just so much more impressive.

At least, in their eyes it is.

How long does it take before you stop mentioning those things that made you proud?  How much longer before you stop being proud of those things entirely?  Weeks?  Months? Years?

How long does it take before you want to reach out and just slap that person across the face and tell them to shut the hell up and let you enjoy your moment?

Slapping them is probably not such a good idea, what with assault laws and such.  But it is a nice fantasy, isn't it?